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HARVARD Blog #1 2017/12/12 Dear diary friends relatives and other hangers on. As part of our great excitement of going to Harvard for orientation and the anticipation of our first day in the big city of Cambridge it is all but been dashed and smashed. While my apprehension and total anxiety is related to US customs and the anticipation with associated curiosities of the issuance of a J one visa and the potential of being scanned fingerprinted and other important parts of my body measured. This did not come to pass. That part of the experience went exceedingly fast and was very efficient and I wasn’t taken apart in some back room by the only available border Gorilla-guard security person whose sole job is to intimidate anyone into a snivelling wreck of the consultancy of jell-0 before being allowed into the United States. The concept of the US’s normally welcoming attitude to foreigners is alive and well, for the moment. The issuer of the J-1 visa had some amazing tattoos of The Walking Dead I made a complementary comment on his ink and I think it eased the visa through the system. Our trouble started at Pearson and arriving at the Maple leaf lounge. The word on their notice board clearly read our flight was cancelled. Air Canada has tendency to cancel flights if they don’t have a totally full flight. Now while Diana had the foresight to buy a pass to Maple-Leaf lounge, using pionts, for us, the troglodytes of Toronto, this part of the overall experience is becoming ever more stress-free. I have no allocated points that would even allow me even into a washroom at Pearson. Diana, in her wisdom got a Maple-Leaf Lounge pass. We are currently well ensconced, well fed and for the first time in my life I had a relaxing glass of wine at 11 o’clock in the morning. For all those that do not know, wine at 11 AM is purely medicinal. In fact we been up for most of the day having risen in total darkness in anticipation of dehumanization process with US border security, which did not culminate in my being dragged off into a dark room with big men in black balaclavas, large truncheons and electrical wires. As I write, the second booked flight gets a cancellation and now the third flight has also been cancelled as well. Diana has used her contacts at AC to establish if we are actually on the flight to Boston at all. Guess what, we are not on any planes. So, I got up at 5 o’clock in the morning to deal with a Canadian airline conundrum, a little seasonal snow, which seems to confuse the entire Nation. Doesn’t Canada get snow every Year? Who knows if we will get to Boston at all??? The intrepid Diana returns to report back that the 4 o’clock flight has also been cancelled. Who knows we may get on the 6 o’clock. No that is cancelled too!!   Now given the number of flight cancellations and the amount of free wine available in the lounge with the number of hours that we have been here I think I could consume my weight in wine and other alcoholic beverages and pay for the flight. Hey, a nice Air Canada employee called Michael Douglas did come by and tried to help us as we consume yet another glass of wine.   The story continues....

Harvard Blog #2 2017/12/12 Indeed! The story continues now while Diana did tweet  “Just boarded the flight leaving at 8:55 so should be in Boston tonight. Yeah!!!” She neglected to say that the aircraft was actually 20 minutes late in taking off. You may ask why? It is very clear there hasn’t been snow for 12 hours from the morning but they had to de-ice. You have to de-ice if you want the plane to actually take off! This is not a bad thing if you happen to be tied into an aluminium tube somewhere in row 7699, which is the real back of the bus. Your knees are conveniently placed under your chin in the new convenient sleeping position for short-haul flights. The reality is, AC cancelled so many flights and it has to get rid of the Lounge Bunnies. The continuing saga.... Indeed we did arrive in Boston with a complimentary 7-Up and pretzels these being the Kilroy snacks that are served on flights by Air Canada. You get a plastic bag that is impossible to open without wire cutters, containing exactly two pretzels in it, and I mean exactly 2 miniaturized pretzels. I counted them. If you want three pretzels that’ll be $15.95.   Arrival at the gate! Running to pick up our luggage, but of course, there’s no luggage. We got on the plane, but my toothbrush and beauty kit did not. Our luggage was ready to board for 12 hours. It did not. It must have gone to the luggage lounge. This of course is a very secret place in the bowels of Pearson airport and is often confused with the Anglican subway refurbishment. I’m of the opinion, that Air Canada does this on purpose to little old grey-haired people who won’t complain too much; because of course we’ve been drinking a little wine in the Maple-leaf Lounge. At the end of the day I moved on to Gin and tonic a very fine libation given the circumstances. We are now in our cosy 75-room apartment, and you are all welcome.

Harvard Blog #3 2017/12/13 Yes, we arrived at our palatcio, your Boston home or the 72 Room modest apartment to be greeted by Robbie Burke and (what’s his name) the professor Richard Cooper (owner). The greeters came with a correct attitude they brought a bottle of wine and needless to say, the required corkscrew to open that bottle, which was Robbie, ever thoughtfull. He also conveyed vast amounts of new linen purchased on Black Friday. The linen was all white, go figure. We recounted in bemoaned terms our stories of the day to Robbie who was half asleep and bored absolutely to death. He did help us to consume that last bottle of wine. We will forgo the pleasures of the bedroom for this particular diatribe, simply because it is unbelievably boring. There were no, northing of rising moments of particular interest. We went Clunk! The next morning in our apartment we ferreted around for victimless Coffee beans but to no avail. They were out with the luggage at the local Starbucks. A cup of hot water will do when you’re desperate. Diana of course is getting more and more agitated by the luggage issue. It had neither been seen nor found by the invisible hand of Air Canada. Set up of the J-1 visa at the Harvard foreign student welcome centre was both painless and very efficient. The way it should be. We travel back to our apartment and not having a winter coat I was forced to cover myself with my Gucci scarf to try and stay warm. The evening was spent in the company of a this year cohort (2017) and six of the future Cohort (2018). A group of people who are unbelievably accomplished all suffering from the same sophomoric high school jitters that we are. Oddly this weakness was exposed over a fine dinner. The Figeac claret far exceeded the quality of the main course, if not quality simply quantity. My main course was sea scallops from Martha’s Vineyard that are the size of Air Canada pretzels. While the meal was good the wine was better. I do not recommend Martha’s Vineyard scallops. They are tiny.... Off to the Charles Hotel .... Low and behold the snow God is on our side and he better be, we’re Canadian. Our luggage actually had been delivered to the hotel. Diana’s stress level is now under control. I’m sure the bottles of Claret helped. Tomorrow is another day….  

Harvard Blog #4 2017/12/14 Oh yes, the Charles Hotel, having arrived at the hotel post dinner it was  with great surprise and relief our luggage and my deodorant were safely delivered to our room. The hotel is a very posh. A large eiderdown type bed in Boston Massachusetts is an anomaly the bed in fact is so big and so American that I have to take a taxi to get to the other side. I must’ve lost Diana at least three times during the night. The hotel was exceedingly helpful in helping me over come my lost and found situation, which all started at about 1:30 AM the previous evening. The room fire alarm and 300 decibel speaker went off not once but three times to encourage guaranteed insomnia. If that didn’t work the hotel apologized at least 18 times post exact event. This is not fake news, but it might be a Russian plot after all we are in America. Diana slept through the last alarm sequence. Being in a somewhat lethargic state I did not leap out of bed, nor did I leap down to the front lobby scantily clad in a pair of boxer shorts. This of course preserved my dignity and what perhaps might be a considerate conclusion for the other guests, as no one wants to see me naked. Think of it this way, I saved a major international exhibit from being over exposed by not following fire alarmm proceedure. No, I stayed snuggled in the bed and put the pillow over my head and said “fuck off” the third adventure with the fire alarm seemed to be excessive I have no idea why they insist on repeating everything seven times. I suggested to the manager that they should give us a free breakfast at which he laughed uncontrollably. As you can see, they were not at all sympathetic. We walked over to the ALI offices for a computer sign-up process. Harvard seems to take Security to an extreme level I must’ve entered my password no less than 28 times with a very nice young accommodating PhD student helping me walk through this process. I assure you, to complete this process nothing less than a PhD is required. I now have a Harvard ID. Wow, anything dealing with the Internet and security is completely exaggerated. The young student helpers were always courteous and helpful suggesting that Security was of prime concern for older students, as you will never remember a 16 digit totally made up word. I now have a password that includes all variations of the keyboard. Now, I find it hard to remember my mother’s first name let alone a Harvard password. It is of course secure, primarily from its intended user. We are then back to our rooms to freshen up to be ready for the initial classroom exercise at the Harvard business school. Remember education is a business and Harvard is very good at selling you the program. The first third of the lecture was how great Harvard is. The second third is how great the cohort (2018) is. The last third is how great the Harvard Business School is. Of course every thing at Harvard uses acronyms, just to confuse the uninitiated. HBS could stand for a number of less attractive words. This cohort, who I must say, are bright, accomplished and very talented. Quite frankly, I shouldn’t even be here. One member of the cohort is the first female prime minister of Peru. I find it hard to travel in these circles. I am, but a mere simple Canadian peasant.  Dinner was sponsored by ALI, which was good and included an acceptable California red. The overall day was fascinating. The downside, I lost $250 out of my wallet. Really dumb. I do hope some impoverished MBA student found it and it makes her day a little better. Off to bed.  

Harvard Blog #5 2017/12/15 The warm cuddly feeling of the Harvard welcome yesterday has been completely shattered. The relaxed informal way was shot to death very early in the morning, as we had to rise at 6:15 AM in order to be on time for the walk to the Harvard Kennedy School. I don’t think I have ever been up that early even when I was working. ALI is clearly making us old people understand that school is starting as of today. Early to bed early to rise. I must say, that I am so excited having attended the opening session at Harvard Kennedy School marketing was alive and well. The programs they offer sound interesting exciting and border on totally thrilling. It’s like I’m a student again... for real!! As in all major conferences we were served a light breakfast primarily of purple yoghurt and good things like granola. I am still reeling from last night’s dinner. The schools various faculties participation and salesmanship of the courses they are offering is riveting to the Point I started getting Goosebumps in anticipation of the learning excitement. At the various lectures that we went on today Diana and I did not sit together or hold hands but tried to sit with different people to learn about them and their desires within the program. By desires I mean educational expectations. Lunch was served at the Harvard Law School with some discussion on the wrongly convicted. Harvard Medical School and public health initiative. Quite frankly I never knew that public health could be so complicated. The concern was not necessarily public health within the context of the American environment but globally. I did ask the question of which public health system was thought to be the best in the world. Australia was chosen. Sorry Canada. Canada we have to pull up our winter socks. At the end of the day we had a walking tour of Harvard being given by a young student who was charming attractive and of Irish extraction. Diana wanted to take him home for lunch. Interestingly enough, he was all of 21 years old knew more about Harvard than probably Harvard knew. He was finishing a four-year degree in social anthropology. Good Lord, I can’t even spell the word, let alone know what it means. Such a neat young man of course I tried to adopt him on the spot. If he was what the student body of Harvard is the world is in good hands. There are no slackers here. Dinner was served with hovering hors d’oeuvres and sufficient quantities of Pouilly-Fuissé. It will be depressing going home having to eat Kraft dinner. The other excitement of the day, which is totally off-the-wall and surprising, is that the hotel actually found the money that I had lost and clearly it was fond by the lady that cleans the room. The honesty that was displayed was exemplary. She could’ve pocketed it and no one would have ever known the difference. She deserves much kudos. We checked out of the hotel early and are now back at our 72-room palace with the heat struggling to keep up. Overall the day was unbelievably exciting fruitful and rewarding. Most of this year‘s cohort are Americans, there are people from other countries who are ultimately interesting and all have something to say as they are articulate expressive and sincerely want to change the world for a better place. After all that’s what ALI is all about. Tomorrow brings another day of early classes… I’m excited.

Harvard Blog #6 2017/12/16 The last day of orientation began at 6:15 AM in a darkened house dark and cold street with overcast black skies. It seems to me we were the only people stupid enough to move out of the Charles hotel and into our apartment. The Charles hotel was very posh and also very expensive. Freshmen students should suffer. It’s a given. The Charles hotel has redeemed themselves from fire alarm fantasy by returning lost bundles of cash. We were whisked off to the HBS; yes another acronym Harvard Business School for a breakfast of muffins and yoghurt all quite good. Rising at an ungodly hour in the black requires vast quantities of potent coffee the downside of that is that you have a tendency to Pee.. a lot. I am now familiar with every public private and otherwise washroom in a 10-mile radius of Harvard Square. ALI explained the nuances of Harvard and when classes actually start. The things that we must do to be totally prepared is mind altering. Sitting in a room of triple type As’ is a very difficult exercise for someone to shy as I am. However, I did get to ask one question where the washroom was. Lunch was served in the room the size of a small Gothic cathedral with a commensurate ceiling height and being absolutely cold where the people are. I am told that the room was heated. Off to dinner with Will Robbie Carling and Jeff. This should be a great lark as we lurch into the darkness of Cambridge. I shall report back tomorrow after my hangover clears. We are back in Toronto tomorrow night.

Harvard Blog #7 A move to Cambridge. 2018/01/03 It started at 7:30 Am Wednesday Jan 3 2018, a clear morning I think. The sky was black-black. It being so early that either the sun had gone out or we are in the middle of nuclear winter. Where is the wisdom of governments to subject us to daylight savings. If we have been saving all this time, don’t I get some back as dutiful Goldie Oldie? No. The scant sliver of daily sunlight in Northern climes is reserved for Kindergarten children who come home at 2:00PM while their parents are subjected to this merciless cold blackness. I think people from the southern hemisphere invented daylight saving hell. Cold and black is Hell. It comes in the North. The drive started well enough with our little electric car struggling under the weight of Diana’s 10 suitcases, I had exactly one suitcase. I figured I could wash my underwear at least once in a year. Again I struggled with the concept of Border crossings and a car packed to the gills. The potential of being made to take it all apart again to find that sliver of space required for Diana’s 7th carry-on bag. Cars are like airlines they only allow one. Every flying woman boarding a plane I have ever seen has at least seven carry-ons. To my complete joy and possible orgasmic relief the Homeland Security Chap took our visas and passports, give them back and with a smile waved us on. Yes, he did! God knows our car was so laden-down it could have been full of genuine Ontario Maple Syrup. This being a complete falsehood because the real stuff comes from Quebec.  The roads and weather were fine. Always leave before the storm. The American media was in anti-fake news frenzy as they reiterated the “Bomb Storm” was coming to Boston. It seems the Meteorologists invent a new word for interesting weather patters every year. Last year it was “A Polar Vortex”. Do they think we are stupid? It’s a “Snow Storm”. That’s it. Our little Tesla surged on bravely and asked for electron feeding stops at regular intervals, which mercifully did away with he usual female banter of suggesting that driver (me) needs a coffee. The phrase is a common feature in the female of the species, and translates to, “stop the car I want to pee”. Now, I went to an all boys’ school, where we learn with avid ardour the nuances of women. We males, after many years, have learnt this turn of phrase, if not at our peril. Diana had an uncontrollable urge to use her 15,000 words/day as we drove down from Toronto. The unbridled loquaciousness all started by reading out loud every single road signs to me as we drove for 1000 kilometres. Men can actually drive a car with out talking…all the time! We just think dirty thoughts to stay awake. However, in her defence she did buy food at one of the charging stops in preparation for the “Bomb Storm” so yesterday we set up house. The down side is the food selection. No English muffins and Marmalade oozing with butter. Diana has decided we are on a diet for 30 days. The worst of which is, no wine…at all…Oh My God, I don’t believe it! How will I ever survive? Arrived at 10:30 PM un-packed car and slid into cold sheets to dream about the ensuing “Snow Bomb”.

Harvard Blog #8 2018/01/05 Oh yes, the "Snow Bomb" came with vengeance. I do love it when every thing stops even the frozen Chihuahuas that were left out side by mistake with heir delicate little paw stuck to the plate glass door on frozen drool. In observant reverence we did not venture out. Quite sensible I think. Unpacked, that was the easy part. Setting up computers was quite another, lost pass words, lost wires and no Internet. Passwords are the bane of my existence! Well, the snow has passed and some cars are in a deep freeze as water flooded in on the Mass coast and then froze…but not us. Thanks to Canadian (AKA Montreal) training. Snow is fun! Our little flat is nice but cheesy furniture. I guess Student like. Not much of our “stuff" We ventured out today…. but first dig out car…UGH. Then shopping, shopping and more shopping. Groceries, blenders, very sharp kitchen knives. The state of Mass has all but banned plastic bags; you know the kind that actually gets your groceries from the store to your home in one piece. Good solid bags are replaced with paper bags made out of tissue paper. Kleenex would have been stronger. The new eco-model tissue bag has a life expectancy of 3 seconds and is required to rip apart smashing that glass bottle of olive oil. This tissue paper bag stuff is a clear plot by the olive growers of Sardinia. All this shopping is in aid of no wine for a month…and to endure severe deprivation and liver re-gen (nothing to do with electric cars). Dinner: Zucchini spaghetti with shrimp and Ronesco sauce, no olive oil…don’t ask. This one would have been right with you. I do miss the oozing English muffins.

Harvard Blog #9 2018/01/10 We love Amazon. Diana has bought every available kitchen gadget from Amazon there's a constant stream of packages to the front door. They make it so easy to spend money, just a large sucking sound or is it the click click-suck on her computer. I haven’t figured out the ever-confusing passwords to my Credit card, so I am safe from the ravages of depleted bank accounts and the restructuring of international debt payments. Amazon has supplied us with every thing for cuticle cutters to comfortable computer chairs, matching, no less. The chairs are a big improvement over the kitchen stools we’ve been using. They are made in china, cost 85$, are delivered, and look like a TESLA. The multitudinous dolly wheels allow for a quick escape to a back room. Of course, where would we be without a cleaning lady? In a large pile of dirt! Diana has negotiated with a fine Brazilian lady to do a supper clean to start with. Operating room scrub down, a super clean. Cleaning ladies in the USA are paid quite well, right up there with lawyers. I just hope DT doesn’t deport them all before our year is up. We have made several foraging expeditions outside the flat, all walking to various food shops and hardware stores. The ACE hardware guy (Al) has every conceivable bit of hardware in a store the size of a bathroom stall. He puts Home Depot to shame, and knows where every thing is. I am in love with the local Whole Foods store, as I linger over the raw milk cheese counter to titillate my olfactory senses, only to be violently grabbed by Diana, admonished and chastised “its not on the diet”. Oh My God, to linger with a good ripe Limburger. The type that peels paint. It’s a love affair...

Harvard Blog #10 2018/01/28 Education is big business. Harvard has figured this out. I am expected to select one course to attend as an observer, or as they call it an “audit”. I might throw a dart at a map of Europe to improve my chances of getting that “Awesome Course”. There are no less than 300 courses at the various schools. All are coded just to make the process more complicated to the uninitiated, but then it gets divided to another layer of Departments, in turn making the actual Course material more obscure. You dig through the levels of obfuscation to find the outline. Remember Harvard is selling, so, the course title might be called “Orgasmic Biology”. There isn’t one 20 year old on the planet that won’t read the next level of the Course syllabus based on a title like that. It also applies to aged septuagenarians. The course was about cells, not mobile phones. The effort to just get a handle on what is being offered has taken us two days of intense computer-internet interaction that involved spread sheets, time tables and location maps. The MIT website listing of courses is completely different, but then these guys are really smart engineers. They are also the ones that invented Microwave ovens that blink 12:00. They also invented passwords. It is clear, if you can get through the registration process you deserve to be here. I call it Harvard’s off-line testing. I have 53 pages of spreadsheets to narrow the variables. Our flat is looking more like us. Diana has bought Chinese stretchy material that can cover sofas, chairs and other pieces of adequately stained furniture that might be deemed unfit for her bottom, or anyone’s. I would hate to do human fluids test on them, God knows what kind of communicable disease may be present. I look at the redecoration as condoms for furniture. The small appliances have been having a party and multiplying as well, just may they reproduce a pencil shaper. I cut my self with the knife. Off to school at the cack of dawn. Basically, Cold Hell revisited. The first week of classes introduced me to the concept of American medicine clearly from stress. A small coming-on tummy upset procured a CAT scan in the emergency department of a local hospital. I must say that wait times are just as bad in United States as they are in Canada if not worse. We could've driven home obtained drugs and driven back. The general approach to American medicine is to test the hell out of you until you die and the hospital gets the death benefit. They then give you one ten-cent pill and pack you off to a pharmacy to buy the remaining 19 pills at 79.95. The concept of giving an American hospital your insurance number is another daunting exercise in bureaucracy, forms, phone calls, insistence by insurance company (Sun Life) for follow up at one of “their doctors”. Colonoscopies are more fun. Of course, we have insurance. The state of Massachusetts insists on it! Diana’s meticulous note taking proved to be boon for to pill or not to pill. Cool school, the place is full of bright eyed bushy tailed kids whose main vocabulary word is "like”, it drives me to distraction, they may be bright however they are not articulate. My persona, given a scanty smattering of gray hair does elicit a certain amount of politeness and deference. I'm going to use it wherever I can. Decided on 3 courses. 1) In leadership in the public private sector 2) history of the great leaders under stress, people like Roosevelt and Mussolini. The first leader we started with was King David because of course the Bible relates only truth 3) Digital media in convincing buy-in by the unwashed of climate change. Don’t you love live Fake Fox News, entertaining stuff? As classes started I was allowed to wear my Batman underwear and hero socks, just for confidence as I entered the hallowed halls of The Kennedy School. And nobody knew but me, well maybe Diana. We walk to school, and get in almost the 10k steps. The freshmen are always passing us as they’re of fleet foot with a bounce in their step. Little Bastards, they didn’t wake up with the same pains in the morning that they went to bed with the night before. When I was a kid walking down Saint Catherine St., Montréal I often thought to myself why don't these old people just walk faster they are in way. I now know why…. Ouch! On my adventures walking home, I had a true wildlife experience, a prehistoric bird, called a Turkey was casually walking down the street. Yes two turkeys creating a great deal of road traffic mayhem. I thought the Puritans had eaten them all off. The delight of fine Cambridge eateries is a distance memory as we endure this 30-day diet of gruel alone no bread. We are almost there. Can’t wait for that English muffin oozing with butter and Marmalade.